For the past 5 months I have been healing…well kind of healing. I’ve played games and been played a few times. I tried one night stands and friends with benefits. And those 5 months did their part in healing me. Healing a part of me that was completely broken after my husband cheated. I used them to make the pain stop for the little bit I was with them. I used them to boost my confidence, to make me feel wanted and needed even if it was only for my body.
Somewhere in February everything started changing. I began to want more. To want something more permanent, more serious. I want to be wooed. I want flowers and conversations. I want a 5 date rule or however many dates it takes to get to that point. I want something more.
So I deleted my dating accounts because all those guys are looking for is what I was doing, not what I’m wanting to do. I decided to stop looking for love and focus on finishing the healing progress. To focus on my kids and my job. And then, if a guy shows up in my life I won’t be his game to play. I’ll be his game changer.
What is game changer? It means I will be an all or nothing type of girl. I want it all or I give nothing of myself anymore. I can’t lose any more pieces of myself. So, I’m changing the game. 🙂